hais. everythingg jus sarkks tuu daa core now. i dunchh noe why. i have gort ALOT tuu sae. realli ALOT. when i wan tuu sae it out. everything seems tuu be stucked at maii throat. sho i decidedd tuu put maii blog back tuu its ownn shape. n write out maii thoughts. I WILL TRY TUU WRITE OUT EVERYTHING OUT HERE. I DUNCHH CARE IF IT OFFENDS ANI1 OF EUU. IT DOESNT REALLI MATTER NOW.

ok. 1st. friends. i alwaes tot friends are peepx hu alwaes focus ur good points insteadd of ur bad points. everyone has a BAD point. theyy wont make euu feel embarrassedd in front of other people. friends encourage euu n bringg euu up. theyy listenns tuu ur grumbles even it takes an hour or more. theyy definately dunchh gossip bout euu as they will onli focus on ur good points. dis ishh wad i AGREE. i m tryingg tuu do it. if euu urself wan tuu hab a true fwenn. euu hab tuu be a true fwen ur self 1st. like. treat other peepx like how euu wan themm tuu treat euu.

the things happenning dis few daes r gettingg. weirdd. cant we siit together like the past.? mus we go our own wae.? now the problem is. A + B + C dunchh like D + E. F doesnt like D. i noe it ishh complicatedd. let mii be thinkk. i dunchh noe anione dislike G anot as A seems like she dislike G. FINE FINE FINE. I M COMPLICATING MAIISELF. I NOE EUU FEEL COMPLICATEDD. I M FIGURING IT OUT TOOO.

WHY MUS THINGS BE COMPLICATED. EUU TELL MI. WHY WHY WHY. I REALLI FEEL LIKE BANGING MAII HEAD AGAINST DAA DAM FREAKING SHITY IDIOTIC LOOKING WALL. I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE SLAPPING SOMETHING. GRRS.

ok. *breath in n out* hmms. i noe things cannot go daa wae tat i wann. but why mus things go sho. ridiculous. sometiimes i askk maiiself ishh dis a TEST furr mii. createdd by humans euu noe. all dis make peepx lose trust frm eachh other. it happenedd tuu mii before. i noe how it feels. it simpily sarks. it makes euu askk urslef if euu should trust him or her. daa feeling ishh completely. weird. i noe euu may not experience dis be4. but whenn everyone turn their back on euu n walk awae. euu will feel lost. euu will wan tuu find someone. i dunch noe if euu call dis dai ti pin or wadeva euu call it. it jus. NORMAL HUMAN REACTION. NOBODY WANS TUU BE ALONE.

i toldd maiiself tuu forgiive n forget. dis ishh daa best wae tuu make things possible. of course. i still treat it as a lesson. now. i dunchh feel daa i put 100% trust tuu anione. tats why i feel hard tuu find someone tuu tok tuu. yanshan. i tot of euu. but. whenever i wan tuu tell euu something. its jus too hard. i dunch noe why. marissa. daa same thing. it appiles tuu everyone yaa. its not tat i didnt try tuu sae out. its jus tat i cant. i m still searching furr someone. which i can tell everything. wif peace.

can everybody sit around daa table n tok wad they wan tuu sae.? peacefully. den things will end faster. can we can we.? please. x( some peepx dunchh noe wad ishh happeningg. like mii. until 2dae. =D

let mii continue. =D i think all tat i cann sae. hab beenn saidd. now. things hab beenn in a place which ishh. un-returnable. nvmms. after careful tots. i decidedd tuu ignore everything. study. let things go how it suppose tuu be. giive opinions whenn supposedd. console whenn supposed. jus let. everything. GO BY ITSELF.

its onli 9 months. 9 months later. its going tuu be over. i m leavingg dis blardie world.

2dae was SPORTs dae. damm freakingg sian. it RAIN. n denn waiit waiit waiit. FINALLY WE CAN GO HOME. yays. =D went home wif shien. xD I DUNCH TOK TUU PIGGY ANIMORE BECUS IT LET MII REMIND OF SIYINGG. xD

ok. i habenn findd ani talkable humans. why why why. sho hardd tuu findd. haiis. i c everybody ishh stress. n daa stressness come frmm friends n blah blah blah. why mus it come frmm friiends.? nvmms. of course i feel stress. n i will ask maiiself. m i making maiiself stress.? r euu r euu.? ask urself dis wae. IT MIGHT HELP. haiis. all of daa suddenn i dunchh noe wad tuu write. WHY. i duchh noe. haiis. blog blog blog. tok about ur everydae life. n blah n blah n blah. its hard tuu write out wad euu realli feel yaa. maybe some peepx can. nvmms.

HMMS. wadd shouldd i blogg on. let mii think. HMMS. i dunch noe. x( but i feel like writing a LOONG post. yanshan sae maii previous post was short. x(

hmms. i thinkk i seriously niid someone tuu tok tuu. xD i foundd maiiself mumblingg tuu maii piggy. daa pink 1. xD 2dae morning i was thinking wad will happenn 2dae n wad will i do n blah blah blah. i do dis every morning. =D den i was thinking n thinking. n i end up tokingg tuu it. SOMEONE TELL MII WHY. i think i m going crazy. haiis. alot of things hab been running through maii headd. ALOT. how i wish one dae i could recarninate. euu noe. reborn.? hmms. but i wish there ishh no hell. =D hmms. hows tat gonna be. OH YA. i oso wan tuu remember daa stuffs. euu noee. books alwaes write dat daa old lady will give euu a soup n den euu drink n euu forget everything n den bye bye. ur new life BEGINS.

i wann tuu remember daa stuffs sho i wont repeat daa mistakes tat i hab made again. somethings cannot be changedd now yaa. i noe there ishh no use regreting or stuffs. jus cant help it when i look back. n c a pile of rubbish. ok. i dunch hab such a bad past. its jus tat i feel ishh bad. euu noee. i noe euu dunch noe. x(

now. daa problem ishh. hu can i tok tuu. nvmm. i will continue toking tuu piggy. i noe she dunch mind. i noe she wont reply. but NVM. i can c its ears. IN MAII HART SHE LISTENS TUU WADD I SAE. i huggedd piggy furr 4 years. i take it tuu baths. i change her clothes n stuffs. she ishh maii true fwenn. =D although she cant tok. maii imgainary fwen euu noe.

OMG. wad daa hell m i toking. ok. i m going crazy. realli realli. SOMEBODY SAVE MII. i feel like banging daa dam freaking idiotic wall. x( i m going tuu findd a real human which i can tok tuu. grrs. xD

marissaa: no matter wad euu do i will respect ur decision. =D all tat can be done hab been done. =D i will still love euu. xD

HMMMS. wad should i update about. i dunchh noe. didnt go schh 2dae. stomache ishh WERID. i cant even standd n walk normally. n i fell down at daa. hmms. 'stairs' thingy at . maii bed. boohoos. denn wake mama up. she sae. STOMACH PAIN ARHHS. KAE LARH DUNCH GO TUU SCHH LARS. she ishh a weirdo. x( denn maii aunt gave mii ALOT of medicient. den she ask mii tuu figure out which 1 should i eat n went tuu work. grrs. i ate all of daa edible ones she gave mii she gave mii n threw daa inedible ones awae. =D i felt better after tat euu noe. den papa scoldd mii before going tuu work. I TOLD EUU NOT TUU WEAR UR CONTACTS FURR MORE DEN 10 HOURS.10 HOURS. UNDERSTAND.? issit maii fault tuu hab maii eye red. x(

nvmm. den i was alone at home daa blardie whole dae. arrange notes n stuffs. denn tuition in daa afternoon. i should hab slpt longer in daa morning. i woke up at 5.45 n didnt slp after tat. MIRACLE. i cant get into slp. x( i m habingg a BAD feelingg. real bad. something bad ishh going tuu happen. trust mii. x(

HAIs. hao fan. x( why people like tuu ask other peepx about questions theyy didnt askk themself before. EXAMPLE: r euu happy.? boos. do euu ask urself dis type of ques.? maybe yes maybe no. people like mii. i dunch ask maiiself. haiis. yiling mama ask mii tat ques. den i sae i dunch noe. den i start asking maiiself. m i happy.? xD

denn. yanshan ask another questionn. n i m thinkingg. daa stuffs happening now make mii difficult tuu trust people. any dae people will jus walk awae. euu may think everybody loves you. but it may not be liddat. dis apply tuu EVERYONE. =D everything ishh sho dam complicatedd. how i hope dis ends earlier. its difficult tuu act like euu dunch noe anything. nvmm. let time take charge. anything tat suppose tuu happen will happen. =D

i missedd daa early bus n took daa dam freaking crowdedd 1. n 1 malay aunty wanted mii tuu go up. n i was dropping daa next stop. englishh. beingg 'scoldedd' by mrs sng. mii shien n marissa. boos. lucky i didnt go toilet. =D den sci blah blah blah. den after schh brought daa campus book thingy. =D yays. den go eat le den went home. i slpt furr a LONGG period of time. xD woke up at 6.30 barhhs. hmms. lallaas tml going out wif SHIEN. yays. =D

yays. reachedd home at 7.48. I M TIREDD. BERII TIREDD. boos. morningg during sci was berii sian. n wantedd tuu slp. thinkingg of daa next periodd whichh is history make mii more slper. den. during historyy mao mao lai show a movie which kip mii awake furr a while. =D den felt slp after tat. x( recess went tuu washh daa dumb stoopid hair spray stain on marissa's shirt. x( den went tuu eat. hmms. den english was ok. den mother tongue i slpt. =D yays. denn assemebly den go essooo there. bought something tuu eat. =D den go back schh. denn hab cca. boos. was quite siian. denn. went tuu yanshann house. i was dam freaking tiredd tat time n i gort cut frmm daa dam freaking blardie penknife n daa freaking blood jus doesnt wan tuu tuu stop bleeding. yanshan gort cut too. x( marissa finger was hurt. not cut. =D denn. went home ALONE.

now ishh daa angry part. MAII DAM FREAKING RIGHT EYE ISHH RED. wad the hell. BOOS. cant euu let mii off.? EYEEEEEEEE. i hate euu. hate euu hate euu. x(

yays. maii eye RECOVERED. 1/5 recovered. still gort lil bit red red ders. x( nvmm. =D yays. i love euu EYE. =D 2dae was a NORMAL dae. kip winkingg at marissa. =D lalallass. afterr schh gort mathh test. boos. normal paper. x( denn went homee. wantedd tuu slp. but rememberr gort daa replae of campus superstar. woos. adraino n clara out. =D hp bill over. papa scoldd. boos. hope he wont confiscate hp. *pray pray*

AHHHS. when will maii eye crisis endd.? TELL MII. fiirst. eye infection. furr. about. 1 week. n den. 2dae. maii left eye ishh RED. booboo. 1st right and den left. wad ishh happeningg tuu maii EYES. ggrss. hope it ish not another infection or i will slap someone. xD

LOVE ISHH A BEAUTIFUL THINGYY. BECUS MARISSA LOVES MII. =D

boohoos. woke up at 11++ 2daee. lalallass. den actually wann go tmart wif chiaminn denn she sae ma fan den nv go lers. i have changedd. wear contacts den she tell mii. x( booos. lallaas. tml schh reopenn lers. siianns. cannot slp late late lers. x( lalalaas. later mus go do hmkks. x( sadd. lallaas. wriite till here.

let mii tell euu somethingg... it dunchh worthh it.

AHHS. i m sho dam shiityy pissedd off. by everyone. i dunch noe why. x( lallalas. why people wann tuu stead.? TELL mii. becus they like eachh otherr.? hmms. maybe. but why must they stead.? show their love.? maybe. why must they break. unhappyy.? maybe. why must they patch.? they found they love each other.? maybe. change it tuu marriage. marry. divorce. no patchingg. boohoos. i dunch believe in love. everyything aroundd mii makes mii feel tat. parents. friends. grrs. i dunch think love ishh a beautiful thing yaa. SOMEONE ANS MAII QUES. grrs.

nvmm. lets treat love as a miserable thing until i find out wad ishh it. =D lallalaas. 2daee went tuu c doc. maii eye recoveredd. =D denn. went tuu swensenns eat mint ice cream. niice niice. =D tats wad life ishh all about. =D denn chiamin lost her wallet. 2nd tiime. she ishh sway. xD pabuu. take care of ur wallets narhhs. den peii edd her go bus interchange n blah blah blah tuu look furr it. den whenn tuu. libraryy. peii yanshan. =D denn when wan tuu go home. maii shoes spoil. x( why. i assume chiamin pass her swayness tuu mii. xD lalallas.

its 12.02. i m bored. iwan tuu blog more. =D hmms. wonderr whyy i feel sho. sadd. when i hear tat name. grrs. it brings badd memoriies up. no1 understands it. x( how many shiity tiimes i wann tuu scoldd themm. x( but i noe i wont. =D maybe 1 dae i will. wads daa past let it be past~ no1 likes tuu bring daa past memoriies forwardd yaa. expecially bad memoriies. xD ahhs. just. 4get it. x(

i feel sho tiredd. i m goingg tuu slp anitimee. i might just slp while standding. xD lalalas. morning woke up. denn went tuu chiamin house de pool. plae water. =D denn. went bckk tuu her house n wait furr shienn tuu come. =D after waiting. went tuu eat miann. den went tuu polyclinic wif yanshan denn peii themm go cut haiirr. denn went home furr tuitionn. =D

endd of 2dae. =D

woos. papa bought mii a new hp. AHHS. why didnt i feel HAPPY. last time de mii. i will run n hugg maii papa sayinhh. DADDY I LOVE EUU. if not i will stare at hiim n laughh. whyy i didnt do all dis now. didnt hab daa feeling of hugging him. feel berii uncomfortable. dunchh noe why. n i m thinking why. haiis. its not i dunch like daa hp larhhs. ok larh. i prefer daa pervious 1 although dis ishh better. NVM. be contentedd. =D some people dunch evenn hab hp. hor hor hor. =D

lalalas. just now gort update 1 time. buddenn. blogger gort prob. which made mii fed up. x( maii eye ishh red again. somebody save maii eye. *tears* daa doctor ishh going tuu scoldd mii if she noe tat i wear contacts. xD nvmm. =D lallaa. blog tml. =D

decidedd tuu repost. =D no more sad or angry bout daa competii. like khimm hab sayy. shee ishh still alivee. she cann still cann singg. =D

lalalas. ytd went tuu bishann early. shopped there. bought a hp keychain. =D ate chicken rice. den went tuu medicorp. took mercedes cab. tot was $16.50. its daa tiime. xD lalalas. denn waiited furr people. denn go into studio. at niite cherly jiamin n yanshan came n overniite. poor jiamin slp on daa. floor. yanshann slp peacefullyy. n chery took maii blanket. xD

morningg. went cut hair. cut short maii fringe. =D went tuu eat rotii prataa n rotii tissue. drank teh tarik. =D denn went home. chiamin shien n marissa came overr. =D gambledd. lose some. denn watchh replay. orderedd kfc delivary. xD theyy went home. xD

THE ENDD/

haiis.
scaredd.
tat one dae.
it might all disappear.
everythingg might be go wrong.
but.
no1 can control it.
its human's nature barhhs.
i noe i should be contentedd tat i have all dis.
but somethings made mii feel uncomfortable.?
i m realli sorry.
one dae it will realli happens.
becos.
euu made mii.?
or.
i cant help it.
nothing can stop it le barhhs.
n i noe a secret cant last long.
one dae.
all of euu will noe.
n everything will go..
wrong.
x(

i feel like digging out maii eyes.
x(
grrs.
didnt go tuu schh 2dae agaiin.
xD
i m rottingg.
how i wish i cann go tuu schh.
xD
editedd.
lalalas.
kip slpingg 2dae.
=D
lalalala.
denn yanshan shien jiamin cheryl came.
denn.
plaeplaeplae.
jiamin n shien went home.
dennn yanshan n cherly stayedd furr dinner.
den went tuu buyy straws wif themm.
=D
foldingg harts.
<3

AHHS.
WAD ISHH HAPPENINGG TUU MAII EYE.
M I GOING TUU BE BLINDD.
x(
God hates mii.
he wann tuu make mii blind.
xD
didnt go tuu schh 2daae.
normallyy.
people will go tuu slp.
its 6.31am
but i cant slp.
grrs.
its dam uncomfortable tuu slp if ur eye gort something.
ahhs.
EYE.
I TREAT EUU SHO GOOD.
I WEAR CLEAN CONTACT LENSES.
I ALWAES REST MAII EYEE.
AHHS.
HOW CAN EUU TREAT MII LIKE DIS.
x(
waiitingg furr maii parents tuu wake up.
criies.
wad m i going tuu do in dis 2 hours.
i will continue blogging.
=D
let mii tell euu how i discover maii eye has something.
2dae morning.
i wake up like normal.
denn when i was tyingg maii hair.
i realise maii eye was RED.
denn i ignore.
cause its not the 1st time dis month.
denn when i wan tuu wear maii contacts.
i realise at maii corner of maii eyes there ishh something.
grrs.
tell mii wad ishh tat.
denn i calledd yanshann.
she told mii tuu c doctor.
denn thinking of not goingg tuu schh.
i will think of slp.
den i tried tuu slp.
BUT I CANT.
AHHHS.
how i wishh chiamin n marissa is here wif mii.
x(
EDITEDD.
=D
lalalas.
morningg gort scoldinggs frmm maii parents.
mother scolded furr not going tuu schh.
fatherr scoldedd furr.
hmms.
he sae.
I TOLD EUU NOT TUU WEAR UR CONTACT LENSES.
SEE LAR. RED LIAO LAR.
x(
denn.
hmms.
went tuu polyclinic.
didnt wan tuu go family doctor.
dunchh noe how tuu go.
xD
buddenn mummy sendd mii tuu polyclicnic.
she sae was sun lu.
waiitedd furr 1/2 hour furr registrationn.
another dunch noe how longg furr daa doctor.
lalalas.
gort infectionn.
x(
criies.
i didnt noe tat doctors are sho kpo nowdaes.
xD
yays.
just now chaimin theyy all came tuu maii house.
they messedd maii hosue.
criies.
x(
packingg.
=D

haiis.
i dunch wann tuu live anyy more.
bu xiang huo le.
x(

lalalaaaas.
i m tiredd.
berii berii berii tired.
i m dying of tiredness.
2dae.
hmms.
went tuu sch.
mathh was siann.
about tuu slp.
denn literature.
more siann.
read serpents tooth.
kip mii awake furr a while.
=D
marissa poke maii eye todae.
n saidd tat it was BOUNCY.
x(
maii eye was red furr a while.
wonder why red eyes nowadaes.
hmms.
i hab sensetive eyes.
=D
denn.
historyy.
forcing maii self tuu open maii eyes.
grrs.
hate mondaes n tuesdaes.
xD
den after schh went tuu eat wif themm.
went tuu mac de toilet.
=D
denn.
wantedd tuu go home.
recievee a call.
jiamin askedd mii tuu go.
a plaegroundd.
=D
but i didnt go.
i m dying of tiredness.
SORRY JIAMIN.
=D
denn.
waitedd furr bus wif shien.
a uncle came asking how tuu go tuu bus interchange.
done a good deed.
=D
lalalas.
denn.
a while bus came.
n went home.
=D

AHH.
I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING SOMEONE.
maii wallet has a pathetic orange staiin.
grrss.
shouldnt hab buyy whiite.
x(
i m going tuu diie of stress ness.
ahh.
i wann tuu go somewhere where i can screamm.
xD
holidae ishh comingg.
but i cant feel daa holidae mood.
becus maii tuition sae she ishh going tuu giive alot of hmks.
x(
nvm.
its only 1 week.
=D
lalalaas.
i realise tat pei yong jun.
tat korean star.
daa one hu alot aunties like de guy.
ishh quiite handsome.
=D
SORRY CHIAMINN FURR IGNORING EUU.
=D

i wann tuu go out.
x(
maii mamaa dunch let.
x(
she spent $200 on 1 dumbb shiity OTO thingy.
which i assume tat it can vibrate off the atoms n make ur tummy disappear.
whenn theyy ishh too muchh vibration.
daa water or solid molecules will become gas particles.
n become natural wind.
=D
muahahas.
den maii house will be dam shiityy smelly.
>=(
I WAN TUU GO OUT.
=(
EDITEDD.
yays.
at last.
i cann go out.
=D
went tuu chiamin de house wif jiamin 1st.
denn went tuu east point.
jiamin wanted tuu buyy keyboard n mouse.
cuz her keyboard gone mad.
=D
denn.
daa shop there nv openn.
went tuu challenger at tm there.
den bought her keyboard n mouse.
went tuu wallet shop.
denn go walk walk.
jiamin bought a bag.
=D
i bought nothing.
=D
endd.

AHH.
EMTYY POST.
WHY.
rewriite everyything AGAIN.
hmms.
2dae morning send papa tuu work wif mama.
i sacriface maii slping tiime.
=D
went tuu eat breadfast.
den walk walk walk.
bought stuffs.
=D
den went home.
criies.
i owe chiamin 1 scoop of lemon icecream.
x(

yays.
i just woke up.
=D
i was reading totochan.
n i fall aslp.
xD
denn woke up foundd daddy off maii com.
he sae maii modem will burn n computer will explode.
woos.
like yanshanns.?
lalaa.
2daee went tuu schh.
denn duringg geog i realise i ducnh understandd a single thingy
tat teacher sae.
x(
askedd marissa she understand marhhs.
she oso sae dunch noe.
=D
we were SLPY on monday's 2 period geog.
den end up todae wadd thingy oso dunch noe.
xD
lalala.
denn afterr tat went tuu library tuu take books wif gil n jiamin.
=D
went tuu tmart take bus.
den yanshan slappedd maii hair.
x(
den she pull mii go mac findd cheryl.
bought apple pie.
=D
went home wif shien.
was thinkingg of going home tuu rest.
maii uncle left his son at maii house.
i cant rest.
maii mama ask mii take care of him
x(
den i was sitting there paying computer.
he took maii perfume.
n sprayedd it on maii FACE.
i was looking at him.
denn he giggle giggle giggle.
i decidedd tuu REN.
n go nwashh maii face.
tat.
bu zhi si huo de thingy.
follow mii n spray spray spray.
grrs.
den went tuu findd marissa n chiamin.
=D
denn go polyclinic wif themm.
chiamin c a doctor.
=D
denn went tuu buyy stuffs later.
bought earring furr marissa.
daa same 1 which hab been confiscatedd.
she bought green.
i buyy blue.
=D
den popular n blah blah blah.
=D
i still feel like slpingg.
x(

AHHS.
EVERYONE ISHH CHANGINGG.
xD
dunchh why i feel tat.
xD
chiamin ishh gettingg more understandingg.
marissa ishh getting cuter.
=D
yanshan ishh gettingg more scaryy.
jiamin n gilliann become niicer.
shienn ishh oso betterr.
=D
NO MATTER WAD I STILL LOVE ALL OF EUU.
i just updatedd furr daa sake of updating
xD

ahhs.
2dae gort cca.
denn 4.30 go home.
paiisehh wors chiamin.
ps-edd euu.
xD
lallaa.
everydae ishh a tiredd dae.
xD
feel sho siiann.
waitingg furr saturdae.
=D